P.J. Is The Awesomesauciest.

You know, just hanging at Alcatraz.

Today is my darling husband Peej's 30th birthday. And since he makes the other 364 days so nice for me, I thought I'd return the favor by detailing why he's the greatest thing since sliced cinnamon raisin bread.

In list form.

30. P.J. mixes a mean cocktail; Moscow Mules, Hot Todgers, Painkillers, Sidecars...and he'll even share them.

29. I've seen him look equally as good (really, really good) wearing a cowboy hat, a three-piece Calvin Klein suit, and a pair of corduroys with ducks on them.

28. Despite having an addiction (since high school) to chocolate malts, beef jerky, and barbecue chips- sometimes allllll together- he doesn't seem to gain any weight. This is maddening.

27. He once visited the town of Pisa by train, determining well before his arrival that the only thing there he wished to see was The Leaning Tower Of. His train arrived. He jumped off. Asked a tourist to take the mandatory photo of him "holding up" the tower. Ran back to the train and caught it before it left the station. This is true.

26. He has songs for Nora, songs for Susannah, and songs for me. He makes playlists, sings to unborn babies in bellies, and slow-dances in the kitchen. He has music on his phone, his computer, his stereo, and coming out of his guitar. And if he doesn't have access to any of those, he's most likely singing to himself.

25. On that note, on a Valentine's Day a few years back, I tried to surprise him by putting a new playlist of love songs on his iPod for the morning commute. I instead successfully wiped his iPod. He still managed to find the gesture charming.

24. When P.J. says "I've Got This," rest assured it'll be taken care of. (Also, bring along a good periodical. For no one will leave the house until This has been Gotten.)

23. Despite being a Dog Person, he has so fully embraced the idea of my two cats that, since moving in together five and a half years ago, he has [easily] convinced them to like him better.

22. If there is a dish more insanely wonderful than his Spaghetti Carbonara, I don't think I could handle it.

21. Upon returning home each night, he immediately strips down to an undershirt. He knows that, within moments, he will be wearing whatever his daughter has eaten/played with/inadvertently brought in from the outdoors. He's totally cool with this.

20. No matter the city, country, or method of travel, he is never lost. Rome, the Midwest, Virgin Gorda, Cape Cod...he never falters in knowing exactly what transit stop or exit to take. This is especially true- and embarrassing- when his knowledge trumps mine in my hometown.

19. He is full of surprises. Like, who knew he had it in him to kill a rat with his bare hands? (Okay, he wore gloves.)

18. Our neighbors are slowly coming around to the idea that white people are not all bad. This is due entirely to P.J. and his intense efforts of neighborliness: picking up trash, learning other languages, and mowing adjacent lawns.

17. He'll cheerfully acknowledge all of his toddler's trolls and ponies by name. (And those names? They were given by his wife when she was a nine year old girl. So these are pretty darned important- and set in stone- names.)

16. Lest you think this makes him less of a man, he also knows a shocking amount of gangsta rap. I'm pretty sure this is just to bust out a parties with a surprising amount of lyrical accuracy.

15. He's pretty good at breaking up street fights and warning off hoodlums. (Of course, he's also been known to be the cause of a few of these kerfuffles...)

14. He's an eye-poppingly talented actor He has this one monologue that makes me bawl like a child. Seriously. Even mentioning it now has me tearing up. Moving on.

13. P.J. does not have an ex-girlfriend who bears him any ill will. At all. How do I know this? Because every single place we've ever gone together, a gal will pop out of nowhere, all smiles and hugs, and declare him to be THE NICEST GUY EVER. DON'T YOU LOVE HIM?! I'm fairly certain that, were we to one day travel to the moon, his second grade girlfriend would arrive at the same time and have only good things to say about him.

12. P.J. is ridonkulously patient. This has become more obvious with the additions of a Determined Wife, two Spunky Children, and a House That Threatens To Fall Down Around His Very Head. Add to these a Real Job, a Large and Crazy Extended Family, a Theatre Career, and- when we allow him to leave- a Penchant For Running. (But- not to the best of my knowledge- Away.)

11. He can grow/keep anything alive. This applies to children, pets, and neglected houseplants. Also vegetables, lawns, rosebushes, and Roth IRAs. Unfortunately, this gift also extends to that pesky crabgrass. (He WILL get you.)

10. He has the widest, best, and most genuine smile anyone will ever see, ever. (Anywhere.)

9. He is Midwestern, through and through, and really prefers "the lake." But he's also totally on board with the idea of "the ocean" these days as well.

8. He is a Mama's boy. But he is not obnoxious about it.

7. This guy willingly wakes up at bizarre hours to change his newborn and hand her off to his wife- a deed made all the more impressive by the fact that there is NO biological necessity for this choice.

6. P.J. apologizes first, which is not always a good thing in a fight- especially when the other party really wants to Get Her Mad On. But I'm pretty sure it's an amazing[ly foreign] trait to have.

5. And he listens. Even when you think he's isn't. And he stores that knowledge away for a long time, then surprises you one day with the perfect gift or a recitation of a conversation you thought had gone largely ignored. And then it's utterly impossible to think such things like- Oh, he never listens to me.

4. But he's a gracious winner.

3. Have you seen his movie collection? It's an unreal conglomeration of classics, questionables, and cult favorites. He may have also recently made room for Rainbow Brite and The Star Stealer for a special little lady. (His wife.)

2. Dude can dance. Ask him sometime about Voting For Pedro.

1. Without him, my life wouldn't be a shadow of how wicked it is- nor would I have gotten to meet these two miniature gals who share his smile. That alone makes me thank the stars, and our Moms, and random auditions...

We love you to the moon, P.J.

(And back.)

(Happy 30th.)

Halloween Prep.

Our ghosts...or as Nora called them, "the nice octopuses."

Ladybug with a springtime hat.

Reluctant punkin'.

Okay, Girls...Naptime!

Both had late nights this weekend.

I feel like today is the first day of a new job that I've really wanted for a super long time...and for which I may or may not have padded my resume a tad.

In a nutshell, I am alone with my children for the first time ever. EVER. Which is a truly bizarre thing to say.

We have had nonstop family and friends are constant helpers/personal slaves for the past three weeks. (Which is also bizarre. Yet wonderful.) I miss our Moms/my sister/Bethany already. But, strangely, I'm also looking forward to the end of the "newness." It's hard to have something feel like your day to day life if it also feels mildly like a vacation. I guess I need it to feel less nice so that it feels more comfy.

I swear I am not depressed.

Also, I've been looking forward to mopping and wiping things down so that they feel like mine again. Yes, I miss cleaning up my household messes.

I swear I am not crazy.

I am, however, rather tired. For longer than my semblance of normalcy will allow me to admit, I'd been planning a small shindig for P.J.'s upcoming 30th birthday. I knew I wanted a Guys' Night Out- and I knew that I wanted it free of Guys who would turn it into A Night In Jail. Plus, there was the fact that I'd be 2.5 weeks postpartum and completely unable to ring in his new decade the way he thoroughly deserves. So. Yes. And since he's UTTERLY impossible to buy for or plan for without the dollar bill signs over his head or the wad of coupons in his pocket warring with any type of romantic gesture I've got cooking...I thought it might be nice to surprise him with this little gathering.

Arranging for a handful of his closest friends (one whom flew in from NYC for the weekend!) and a couple of cases of Shiner Bock to be at a divey pool hall in our 'hood on Saturday night was pretty easy. A little tougher was the flying leap I needed to take every time my phone buzzed for the past month. Not really sure how I would have explained the nonstop texts and emails from his pals...although he was too tired to notice how often my phone was pinging in the middle of the night. (Don't you people sleep? Go to bed!) It's pretty safe to say he would have laughingly ruled out an affair- although, pal, some people LIKE girls in sweatpants. A LOT.

I thought I was in the clear until, oh, the night before the party, when two of his closest friends TEXTED HIM AT 2AM FOR NO REASON WITHIN ONE MINUTE OF EACH OTHER. P.J. had just changed Suzy and had handed her to me when he saw the blinking light on his phone.

"Oh," he said. "Neil and Nate both just texted me!"

Ever seen a girl lunge across a bed with a baby actually attached to her? It's not for all viewing audiences.

Realizing I couldn't nonchalantly bat his phone away, I went for uber-casual.

"Oh yeah? What did they say?"

"They said hi. That's funny."

"IT SURE IS!"

"I wonder why they both texted me at the same time?"

"Honey," I told him. "They're drunk." (Prove me wrong, Nate and Neil.)

He was satisfied with this answer, and- even though his curiosity was piqued- I rested assured that P.J. had no idea what was coming the following night...when I promptly thwapped the guys upside the head for choosing the night before a surprise party to be all nostalgic. AND DRUNK.

That said, he was surprised- or played the part convincingly- and now we can all go back to our regularly scheduled 10pm bedtimes.

Even planning other people's late nights wears me out. Heck, even remembering the planning wears me out.

Hence, the sweatpants.

Which may just be my favorite typed sentence EVER.

Now She Can Get A Part-Time Job.

Nora is pretty pleased with me.

Part of my review for LeapFrog's My Own Storytime Pad required that she give it a whirl and personalize it to her liking.

And there's a lot of liking.

The thing is pretty cool; a preschooler's version of a tablet, complete with pretend (and individualized!) emails from Mom, Dad, and Suzy, stories that she can choose, built-in playlists and the ability to create her own songs. There's an ABC function that lets her type out letters and learn phonics, and even (the slightly more advanced) ability to "write" her own stories.

As we already own a LeapFrog My Own Pal (Violet, thankyouverymuch), I had already installed LeapFrog Connect on my computer to hook it up with her name and personal preferences. (This is how Violet knows Nora digs blueberry pancakes and The Itsy Bitsy Spider.)

Checkin' out the specs.

I decided to let NJ play with the Storytime Pad and review it as I usually do- with a minimum of direction-readin' and a maximum of seeing how user friendly the thing really is for kids:

Being as my child was born in '09, she already has the techie knowledge so inherent in her generation- so she flipped it over and turned the power on immediately. And regardless of how often I initially showed her the lower buttons of ABC, email, stories, and music, she really just wanted to spend a good twenty minutes pressing the two dogs, cat, and chipmunk(?) at the very top to make them say different phrases. I completely understood.

Once we got into story mode, I showed her how to press the arrow keys to turn pages. This had mixed results as, at times, she'd patiently wait for each page to be read, and other times flip the pages like a windstorm. (I was not surprised, as this is sometimes how she reads her real books, too.)

Nora really, really liked the music function. She thought the songs were cool, but what totally rocked her world was how each letter on the pad turned into a different musical note or sound effect under the Jam Session option. (Although much like at Christmas with repeated playing of Dominick the Donkey, I quickly tired of the 'braying' one.)

The ABC phonics button captured her attention for a bit, and she had fun repeating what each letter sounded like. After a little bit, however, she turned into a bit of a beat-boxer (T-t-t-t-t-t-nnnnnnnnnn) and we moved onto emails.

When she heard and saw the one "from" me, (Nora- I love you SO much! Love, Mommy) she lit up and thanked me. (I do kind of wish there was an option to type out personal and simple messages that departed from the three stock options, but it's still pretty cute. And she looked downright amazed that Susannah had access to an email account.)

My only complaint with this otherwise superbly cool toy is the lack of a backlight function or option to change brightness. The small screen on the tablet is pretty dim and the text doesn't have much of a contrast. Nora and I both found ourselves squinting at times to read the text or see the cartoon characters. It's certainly not a deal breaker, but I was a little disappointed by tech support's answer that the brightness had been set to optimize battery life. (I'm a parent. I can change a darned battery when need be. But if she's gonna learn her ABCs visually, she might want to be able to see them.)

All in all, it's a really cute product, and one that Nora already refers to as her "computer." And retailing at roughly thirty bucks, it's a much cheaper option than letting a toddler potentially destroy an iPad in the pursuit of dominating some angry birds.

For example.

Thank you to LeapFrog for sponsoring this review. While LeapFrog provided the product to me for this review, the opinions I've expressed here are solely my own and represent my honest point of view.