Good morning!
Speaking of transit, I had the great fortune of sitting next to a bona fide freakaroo last night. Well, technically, I had the first sideway seat on the back of the bus and she had the last forward facing row...so in essence I was in her lap. The phone call that she took (on her headseat- I always think people are talking to themselves, does no one else worry about this?) started out innocuously enough. There was talk about going downtown. She had already been downtown! Dinner? What about that Mexican place? I like that Mexican place. Then it got slightly more loudish. So, you don't want to meet me? Oh, so I should come meet you? But I've already been downtown! I'll go back downtown, but I've already been downtown! I was already there!
People started to glance around, a bit uncomfortable. (And if you've ever tried to make a packed Addison bus uncomfortable at rush hour on a game night, you'll know it's an uphill battle! Bunker Hill! But louder!) Then she really got going. Well, what was up with that [expletive] you pulled at 2:30? How about that [expletive] you pulled? No, no, no, no, what was that [expletive] you pulled at 2:30? FINE. I'll meet you at the restaurant. I'll meet you at the restaurant. I'll meet you at the restaurant. I'll meet you at the Mexican restaurant. (It was like sitting next to Rain Man.) Fine. But I've already BEEN downtown. (Oh no.) I was just there! I'll go downtown, but I've already BEEN downtown. Fine, I'll meet you at the restaurant. (Hang up the phooone.) I am not talking about this on the phone. I am NOT talking about this on the phone! Because I'm on a bus and I'm not TALKING about this on the phone! Yeah? Well, I HATE THE WAY YOU TALK TO ME! I'll meet you at the restaurant.
She hangs up and the passengers on the extraordinarily packed bus exchange uncomfortable brow raises and giggles. The lady to my left uncovers her son's ears. The White Hats eat their Taco Bell. AND THEN. Her phone rings again!
I TOLD you I didn't want to talk on the phone! Well, I'm on the phone! What, what, what, you can't NOT talk on the phone for the next half hour? (!) I'll meet you at the restaurant. (They're still going to have a meal together?) I SAID- I'll meet you at the restaurant. WELL, I'M TIRED OF YOUR [expletive.] I'll meet you at the restaurant.
I wanted to lean over and suggest that they order a pizza and stay in, as this lady was clearly jonesing for a public fight. (You always get the flautas! You ALWAYS get the flautas!)
This took place over the course of ten blocks.
On another note, they're gonna add Addison to the bus tracker! I swear I don't work for the CTA.
5 comments:
Keel, good story, but I think what you need to add to your blog is an audio feed of you *reenacting* this --
That way we can fully understand how the conversation came across and we can accurately hear the em-PHA-sis on the right syl-LAB-les.
There is a man in the tree next door.
He is talking very loudly and cutting off limbs, tree limbs, for now. Really, it is a bit scary. He is the man that bikes about the city with his worldly goods on his back. He was hired by our dear neighbors who usually show good judgment. He starts working at dark, really!
Yes, on the lane. I am concerned. Dave is as well.
Thanks for the lemonade.
Awesome. In similar news, I was on a plane last night next to a guy who talked on his cell phone until we were almost IN THE AIR (on an earpiece, so I absolutely thought he was talking to himself) and then when the flight attendant came running back to tell him to turn it off he claimed he'd never been asked to turn off his phone on a flight before.
Yeah. Seriously.
Love the blog!
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