He proceeded to lecture the bus, focusing the majority of his disgust on the young nurse seated behind him. His first line? "Don't you hate it when the guy going to work next to you is DRUNK?" (Yes.) He went on to tell her that the problem with America is white people (which he was- she was not) and straight people. Oh boy! That's a good half of the demographic on the #49! You've got our attention now, sir.
Unconcerned by the girl's lack of attention, he turned his focus to the businessman sitting in front of him. "You know what?" The guy took his headphones off. "Did you say something to me?" He asked the former. "Yeah. I'm reading your mind. Do you know I can read your thoughts? And guess what? I'm bisexual. DEAL WITH IT." The guy put his headphones back on. "Ah," He nodded as he exited the bus. Lucky.
He then turned his attention to me. I had my headphones on with the sound turned off. (Miss any of this? Are you kidding?) I had planned to not make ANY eye contact- but my darned eyes twitched upwards (out of fear of confrontation, fear of missing any dialogue, I'm not sure) and I saw part of his eye looking at my eye. MAN.
Here's what I discovered- I am a terrible (white) human. I will have babies. And that is all. And they will be terrible. For I am straight. Also, I am ugly, I am an ignorer, I think I'm amazing (at least I have something going for me) and he will most likely take me out. (I'm not sure if he meant to dinner or fisticuffs- it'll be neither if he keeps up that kind of talk.) He then slumped back in his seat- FOR HE WAS DRUNK- so the threat level was never truly that high. And it was my stop, so...good morning! The day is so, so young.
I'd like to report our first Wii injury. It's mine, of course, and fairly lame. (So's my hand, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Which, strangely, is how it happened.) We had just gotten the hang of tennis and were feeling pretty competitive and good about ourselves. Then, following through on a backhand (for the first time EVER I might add- ask Coach Wyman!) I smacked the back of my hand on the television cabinet door, which was propped open at a 45 degree angle. (That's as far as it'll go, I wasn't just being lazy.) However, I thwacked it on the door with the force of my entire body. And, while not usually impressive, a strong backhand of bone meeting oak can cause one to crumple to the floor while one's husband asks "Why'd you do that?" And then go for some ice.
I currently have a yellow rectangular bruise on my right hand (if you turn my hand to the side it looks like a knuckle! Ew!) but there is some good news. I finished the match lefty...and I still beat P.J.
Lest you think this week has been nothing but pain and chastising, we had a great time down at Pritzker Pavilion last night. Andrew Bird in concert! Free! I had never seen him live, but he and my Bose headphones are pals. Turns out, he is so, so cool. The nuances of his performance, the banter, the 'aw shucks' demeanor....the SOCK MONKEY he has onstage every night...(I also have a sock monkey. Mine is named Opie but has yet to be onstage.) Such a good concert. And with a picnic din from Treasure Island as well! (That sounds magical, doesn't it? It's a grocery store.)
Tonight may or may not bring another such experience. We were supposed to go to the live NPR taping of "Wait, wait...don't tell me," but as it's currently pouring rain (forecast says: chance of rain, 100%) we may just invite people over to play some sweet Wii action. Any takers?
I still have one good hand.
5 comments:
I'm very glad to see your one good hand can still blog like a champ.
Wii tennis is a dangerous game. I've been pushed, punched, kicked, scratched, and bitten while playing. I'm starting to prefer real tennis just so I can have a good 60 feet and a net between my opponent and myself.
Today I saw a drunk guy at around 7:30am who was standing in the middle of the street at Halsted and Addison - screaming at the police station about how they are horrible **BEEPS** and making everyone uncomfortable that had to try to cross the street around him. I can only assume he had just gotten out of the drunk tank at the police station and he didn't like the way he was treated!
Ah entertainment.
observations..
one, wii is dangerous BUT fun.. Tom has a wii injury.. my shoulder aches.. but I rock at few sports.. suck at a lot more..
two:.forget public transportation.. save your loot and you and your sig oth.. invest in a good used or new car.. dad will help.. get away from those crazies.....I mean ..how much do you both spend on rentals AND public transit per annum.. and to have to go through that..yuck...
2 cents plus..
Yes. That way when I graduate to the house with the white picket fence (What the.. who have I become?) you can easily come visit and bring your mad Wii skills over.
I saw a kitten at the 7-11 down the street the other night. It was a calico and pretty young. It stared at me from the bushes but didn't want to come say hi. Today as it was raining I was sad I couldn't have taken that kitten home with me and hoped it was alright. I have one upped the Guilt Gyoza :(
I was at the Andrew Bird show with The Chemist! How come we didn't see you there?!!?!? (Other than the 700 million other people on the lawn I really couldn't say).
Opie WILL get on stage. It will be.
Post a Comment