I love Valentine's Day.
I LOVE Valentine's Day. Back in grade school, I used to love the holiday so much that it physically made me sick from excitement. I'd pick out my fanciest, sparkliest, flounciest skirt and/or whimsical animal top and spend possibly too much time choosing necklaces, bracelets and earrings (after second grade) that screamed hearts.
Okay, I still do.
Back then, I'd painstakingly craft Valentines for every member of my class, every teacher, librarian and Room Girl. (Did you guys ever have Room Girls or Boys? They were the fifth graders responsible for marching the younger kids down to the cafetorium every day at lunchtime. I later become one. It was an awesome and heady responsibility.)
I also spent the equivalent of a part-time job making my desk envelope AS WELL AS a bedroom door envelope. You know, for all of the Valentine overflow? My "workshop" was my bedroom closet, a narrow, 70s-style sliding plywood door number- I'd periodically remove everything from the floor (mainly on heavy work days- it was also a detective office when necessary) and pull on the chain light for optimum crafting conditions.
I signed every card with a personal message and a bold, glittery "Love, Keely," delivered them with seizure-inducing excitement and waited for the magic to happen. (In third grade, a kid I'll refer to simply as "Chris" brandished his in front of my face with a defiant wave. "Love? Love, Keely? You love me?" Buffoon.)
And the party? Oh, God, the party. The last hour of the school day was when we pushed our desks into, you know, party formation and got to open envelopes, deliver any last minute Valentines (I always tried to look extra deserving) and eat baked goods that have forever defined my image of the holiday. (Susen Andrews' Mom, Janet? God bless you and God bless those mammoth pink frosted heart cookies.)
Except here was the problem.
I'd get so crazy excited the night (heck, month) before, that I'd usually be running a low-grade temp the morning of the class party. My Mom, savvy to my enthusiastic and potentially self-damaging glee, would sometimes allow me to go to school for the morning and "See how you feel." (It wasn't the plague, after all, it was a self-induced pre-sugar high.)
I usually didn't make it to noon. Sometimes I even puked.
The car ride home always, always involved tears.
The teacher would have packaged my Valentine envelope and a few treats for me to take home- but it wasn't the same. Valentine's Day usually involved a late afternoon nap and dinner in my jammies.
BUT THE DINNER!
My parents were always darned festive, too, and Valentine's Day dinner was a shiny affair, complete with a "fancy" table, red cellophane-wrapped wondrousness and trinkets waiting at our place settings. (They probably only cost a few dollars, but red beads and velvet bows are the stuff from which memories are made- clearly.) We'd have a dinner of "favorites" complete with dessert- dessert was not always present for Flynn family dinners, but when it was it could be counted on to be epic- and, of course, opening of the bedroom door envelopes. I sometimes helped the twins open theirs. Heck, I usually helped them MAKE their envelopes. (They were allowed in the secret office- they were quite smallish and didn't take up much room.)
Now, I'm sure my folks had different ideas of what a "perfect" Valentine's Day would be- a quiet dinner, a non-animated flick, a full night's sleep without their secondborn ending up in bed with them- but for me? The memories of this one day have permanently shaped how I feel about the holiday.
This is why I do not get when people oppose a "Hallmark holiday". It's based on an actual saint who helped marry persecuted Christians- nothing Hallmark about that! But sure, now it's a Corporate Scheme and we're all inundated with ads for precious gifts and expensive bling.
You know what else is a Corporate, Spendy Holiday? July the 4th. You could choke on the ads for beer and grills and boats- BUT YOU DON'T SEE PEOPLE PICKETING THAT ONE, do you?
I spent the weekend with Peej and Nora, watching a trifecta of Batman Begins, Blade: Trinity ("Use it...") and Down With Love (which, crazily enough, ends happily IN love!), and they all strangely jived. Naps were taken with various, pink corduroy-clad gals and pajama pants-clad, coupon-happy men. Okay, one of each.
I cooked ZERO meals (while, funnily enough, P.J. prepared a handful of my favorite recipes on the face of the planet) and we exchanged gifts that totaled twenty bucks. Not exactly DeBeers, but you should totally ask P.J. to show you his travel mug with Nora's, well, mug on it. Awesome.
Spent the past few days calling, texting, emailing and Skyping loved ones to say just that, and received more than a few glittery cards in the mail. Which will be visible on my dining room table for a month. I love Valentine's Day.
And when Peej asked if I wanted to get a sitter and go out for a "grownup dinner" on the town? I passed on that one.
I have my own little gal now who gets unbelievably stoked with anticipation for a fancy holiday and for whom February 14th will always be an epic day.
I can just tell.
12 comments:
I adore you. Thank you for bringing back my own fond memories of decorating the most sparkly and flashy Valentines catchers (a.k.a. kleenex boxes) and choosing the right shades of pink and/or red (mostly and) to impress the most humble of suitors and, naturally, teachers. Although not quite as grand, I still add a little something heart-y to my valentines day attire and surprise my loved ones with something glittery and sweet.
Tired of reading all the FB status messages about those celebrating SAD (singles awareness day???) and hating on the holiday I loved this breath of fresh, rosey sentiment :) Thanks, K!
You are so entirely welcome. Anything for the gal who reintroduced Marky Mark (a la carte or with Funky Bunch) to my iPod.
I can certainly vouch fo rthe facts that all of the above are true. You are the biggest ever fan of Valentine's Day. Your excitement spurred ours. And yes, Mrs. A's cookies were the best in the entire world. You would eat them fever, rash or queasiness. Those were great memories for us as well. And no one makes a Valentine's Day card like you. No one. xxxxx
People don't hate Valentine's Day because it's corporate. They stay that, but it's not the real reason they hate it. That's just a way for people to feel superior to an event that makes them feel excluded.
And, for the most part, they are excluded. Christmas is a real problem for those without families, and Valentine's is a real problem for those without a lover. They feel excluded from the preparations and the festivities of those around them. They feel ignored and they feel scorned for feeling bad at a time when others are happy. (And so, they join those who are unhappy and hating the holiday, so that, at the very least, they are included in something!)
The sad part is, Valentine's actually tends to be worse in the exclusion factor than any other holiday. For many, celebrating Valentin'es means spending time ALONE with your significant other. The traditions of other holidays (even Christmas) include inviting people to join your holiday celebrations. Valentine's Day has exclusion built right in, and that sets it apart. A huge percentage of people end up feeling like they weren't picked for the team. And people hate being excluded more than anything.
So, if you'd like the world to have a better opinion of Valentine's Day, if you'd like to bring those haters back into the fold - then fight, fight, fight for a new tradition - one that includes your single friends in the festivities. No candle-lit dinners or trips with your honey or gifts for your spouse.
Maybe the holiday could instead be celebrated by us couples holding mixers for our single friends, so they can meet and exchange cards?
Key party, anyone?
Mr. W- Ah, but the crux of my posting centered around the idea of fabulous dinners and handmade Valentines for a cast of dozens. That's pretty inclusive.
Also, I've had some stellar Valentine's Days whilst single, throwing parties, getting the nails and hair did, reveling in the movies and shows that my loved ones merely tolerate...and some downright lonely Valentine's Days while in relationships where the guy couldn't be bothered to care less.
This may seem a tad Pollyanna-ish, but I've always found the "family"
with whom to celebrate was comprised of actual family and a team of truly great pals (who know that they're welcome for any holiday, Arbor, Flag or otherwise.)
And as for fighting for a new tradition? Nope! I'll keep making Valentines for a cross-section of people around the country, calling friends, smooshing candy into envelopes for my sisters, etc., etc...but I can't imagine ever NOT giving trinkets and tokens of affections to my husband and kid. After all, they're the ones that love me as hard as I love everyone on Valentine's Day the other 364 days a year.
Ms. K - I believe the crux of my response was merely answering to why people hate the holiday. I do not hate it myself. I am ambivalent toward all holidays, as I lack the gene for enthusiasm, but enjoy watching other people get wound up. And you do get wound up. Which I took as the actual crux of your article, but I digress.
Furthermore, when I said to change tradition, I did not mean your own. After all, why should you need to buck tradition, when your personal traditions already do so exactly as prescribed? You passed on the dinner alone, and have now further elaborated that your "family" is not genetically bound.
Unfortunately, you must agree, most people cease the "love of all" celebration as soon as puberty kicks in, making everything about competition for mates. And every commercial in the land supports the idea that public demonstrations of purchasing power, directed exclusively toward the mate you've secured, are the best ways to ring in the holiday. That's marketing: make it exclusive, tie it to happiness, and then tell 'em when they should buy it.
So, perhaps you share something with those who hate Valentine's Day as a corporate monstrosity. The holiday, as you celebrate it, would be embraced by all. But the corporations have turned it into a tradition of exclusion and spending.
So, bravo. Carry on. But understand why people hate Valentine's Day, but not 4th of July, even though there are themed plates for both in the grocery store. Some people see those heart plates as a celebration of something they aren't included in. Asking why they hate it is like asking Jews why Christmas gets on their nerves.
I love glitter.
I shall NOT understand why people hate it! For two reasons!
1. Corporate Awfulness is everywhere. TiVo has allowed us to fast forward commercials. Not reading circulars has much the same effect. Not only should we NOT buy into the hype, I say we should also NOT even acknowledge that it's there! (I find it awfully easy to not do stuff. In fact, I'm not doing stuff right now!)
2) The benefit of owning a blog, say...this one, is that it allows me to become Empress Stubborn Von Doesn'thafta.
Love is understanding, Ms. K. ;-)
So, to sum up, love equals understanding, hate is an emotional response to feeling excluded, and Emily loves glitter.
CONGRATS ON 10,000 HITS! You are such a rock star. I feel famous by association.
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