"Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday..."

I have Mount St. Laundry in my stairwell. And it cannot be scaled.

The tumbleweed cat hair is the size of the actual cats.

So of course on Saturday morning I told P.J.- "I need to paint the upstairs bathroom."

He responded to this the way he generally reacts to any major change in the household; with complete and utter dismay. A little stonewalling. Perhaps a half hour of ignoring (which never, never works). He asked me why.

I wanted to tell him that the aversion I have to that corner of the house is disturbing (I pretend that I know feng shui- I do not), that the "master" bathroom is essentially a few pieces of sheet rock propped up against a shower fitter- you know, the kind your Grandma has?- and that my hatred for the dingy walls represents everything that I hate and fear and want to change in the world...

"Because I want to," I told him.

After a few moments, he came back with this- "You want to paint it white, right?" Yep! Because when I crave change and pop and a new lease on life, I choose...white. Sure.

I told him that I wanted a deep brown, a color that has been chosen by folks for whom I've worked (and it's rocked.) He said no. I got so mad that I went into the backyard and pretended to mulch trees. Later, I was much too tired to think about painting a bathroom- and our excellent friend Jamie came over to shower us with gifts, Ecuadorian food, and lullabies for Nora. It was a fantastic evening, and one that gave Peej a false sense of security that the bathroom "thing" was over.

The next morning I left for Home Depot ("Where everybody knows your naaaame...") and picked out paint- I took into consideration P.J.'s trepidation towards dark colors and tried to temper my choices based on that. Bought one I dug and that I thought P.J. might actually...be okay with. I did not tell P.J. the color, nor did I let him see it until it was already slopped on the walls, rendering it DONE.

Turns out, he loves it. Or said he does. Which is wise. The color is Adobe Straw (Rachel: Ooh..! Keely: You have no idea what color that is, do you? Rachel: Nope!) And it's actually a variation on brown. (Shh...)

And here it is:

This is the best angle and lighting I can get, given that this bathroom is essentially the size of an escape pod. But as of last night it's an Adobe Straw escape pod. Maybe we can start to take the air quotes out of "master" bathroom. So now: The lower level bathroom has a soaking tub and new tile (and is rat-free! Woot!), the main floor bathroom is no longer teal and has shelving, and the upstairs bathroom doesn't make me cry any longer! Who says I can't have it all? (Whoever says otherwise will be argued down. Ask Peej.)

And here's a freebie li'l cleaning tip for you! Want a sparkling bathroom in five seconds? Take everything out of the bathroom, ever. It works wonders. Sure, your husband will search for months for his toothbrush and there will be no actual "soap" on the premises...but it'll look like a million bucks.

Or at least $23.47.