You're gonna want to sing this one aloud.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…a mortgage and a baby.


On the second day of Christmas, Chicago gave to me…two parking fines, and a Volkswagen and a Bitsy.


On the third day of Christmas, my kiddos gave to me…three blanket tents, two museum free days, and a "Sleep in 'til seven thirty."


On the fourth day of Christmas, my parents gave to me…four words of wisdom, three No Way naptimes, two ethnic bake shops, and a "Sorry the Brita's empty."


On the fifth day of Christmas, my kitties gave to me…FIVE YUCKY THIIINGS (ba dum dum dum), four “Do it now’s,” three paper airplanes, two taco joints, and a plate full of pasta for me.


On the sixth day of Christmas, my good friends gave to me…six rolls o’ sushi, FIVE HALF-DEAD THIIINGS (ba dum dum dum), four “Doing great's,” three sticker books, two festivals, and some Kombat on the Wii.


On the seventh day of Christmas, my sisters gave to me…seven calls o’ gossip, six dates with bacon, FIVE INNARD THIIINGS (ba dum dum dum), four “Write your thank-you’s,” three twigs and leaves, two clean playlots, and a kiss on my bruise-d knee.


On the eighth day of Christmas, my homestead gave to me…eight wonky fixtures, seven rants o’ lifestyle, six Pinot Grigios, FIVE MASSAGE-Y THIIINGS (ba dum dum dum), four “Go to bed’s," three trampolines, two new parades, and some programmes on the TV.


On the ninth day of Christmas, my daughter gave to me…nine gleeful babbles, eight missing light bulbs, seven money crises, six spicy tunas, FIVE SCRATCHED-UP THIIINGS (ba dum dum dum), four “Have you done it’s," three princess wands, two vintage shops, and a love song sung on key.


On the tenth day of Christmas, my Blogger gave to me…ten featured postings, nine bossy gurgles, eight crazy neighbors, seven Call You Right Back's, six fried-up dumplings, FIVE COUGHED-UP THIIINGS (ba dum dum dum), four "You're my favorite's," three tutus, two car alarms, and a bag of my favorite coffee.


On the eleventh day of Christmas, the theatre gave to me…eleven brand new playwrights, ten front page write-ups, nine pointed mandates, eight scary thuddings, seven belly-laughings, six pickled gingers, FIVE LOUD YOWLIIINGS (ba dum dum dum), four "Eat your crust's," three mysteries, two barking dogs, and a trip to see the sea.


On the twelfth day of Christmas, my conscience gave to me…twelve thankful feelings, eleven non-eq epics, ten full page ads, nine 'dis' and 'dats,' eight "The smell is fading's," seven "Love you- bye now's," six sauce with goat cheese, FIVE GLAD PURRIIINGS (ba dum dum dum), four thumbs way up, three crayon hearts, two lakefront naps, and permission to Feng Shui.


(Merry Christmas!)