I'm sure that roughly 94 percent of you have seen the- ahem- "Things" That "People" Say memes ad nauseum (a la White People, Girls, New Yorkers, Farm Animals, etc.. etc., etc.). For the uninitiated, it's basically a collection of generally amusing and stereotypical catchphrases perpetuated by a really, really specific group of people- all for the purpose of having that select group chuckle at their own foibles ("Oh, ho- that's me, all right!)
So far, I've identified with two.
And, while I'm sure it's been done- perhaps even better- I've decided to try my hand at my own list. Feel free to comment with your own additions. For there are thousands upon thousands of items to be added. So, without further ado...ahem...
-Oh, we're entirely BPA-free.
-We also only own wooden toys.
-He doesn't sleep through the night yet?
-She still uses a pacifier?
-A bottle?
-A diaper?
-A booster seat?
-You think you're tired now? Try having two.
-Three.
-Four.
-Multiples.
-School-aged kids.
-Oh, is that organic?
-I'm surprised you let her drink juice.
-Cow's milk.
-Tap water.
-You let them eat meat?
-Sugar?
-Carbs?
-My son eats everything.
-She has never even seen a chicken nugget.
-Enjoy it now. This is the easy age.
-She's strictly breastfed.
-You couldn't pay me to breastfeed.
-Where does she go to school?
-Did she start at two?
-Is it Waldorf?
-How much a semester?
-You are so lucky to stay home all day.
(-You are so lucky to get to leave the house all day.)
-You're pretty lax on the TV thing, aren't you?
-We only listen to NPR.
-This isn't our usual park.
-We're late for Music Together.
-Gymboree.
-Fairytale Ballet.
-Oh, he can count to twenty in German.
-She walked at seven months.
-He's actually pretty advanced for three.
-Our nanny is teaching the kids Mandarin.
-Our nanny is getting her PhD in Early Childhood Education.
-Our nanny is sick again.
-He was named after my favorite French opera.
-A Viennese art critic.
-A bus stop in Madrid.
-What percentile is she?
-Are you concerned about her weight?
-Height?
-Thumb-sucking?
-Well, if your doctor isn't worried, then I wouldn't be either.
(-You'll see.)
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| Who would SAY that to you?! |
7 comments:
Get out of my head!!!#
Keely, this was hilarious...!
Is he/she crawling, yet?
Walking, yet?
Talking, yet?
(She's sooo comfortable signing her words, that she isn't really finding the need to talk, yet.)
This restaurant is totally kid-friendly
Bumppo
Bjorn
Bob
Boppy
What method did you use for sleep training?
Potty training?
Through the generations, it never changes, all that has is the source of "the right way". We had parents or Dr Spock, the "gold standard" and parents or older family members. Now everyone has an audience to see how they are doing and listens to all the comments.
The smart ones use their common sense and ignore the rest.
So true!
Derm Deals
I want one for the things teachers say to parents.
"I'm sure the electric plug covers are adequate"
[six hour pause]
"would you mind putting in those new outlet covers you donated. It looks like your little guy really can get past ours."
http://jesterqueen.com -- your captcha is trying to filter me. I'll try with my blogger account. Sigh. Captcha is so evil.
Brilliant! I could relate to more than I care to admit to!
I mean, clichés are cliche for a reason, right? ;)
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